Wednesday, February 28, 2007
5:39 AM Y
Post title : =almost giving up=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
itz been 1 whole day yest..
i din msg him..
itz hard...
went out..
tried to have fun but it din help..
2dae told maklong that i want her to help me to forget him..
i will try every way to forget him...
n maklong said that i wont even remember him aft that..
all the memories...
all the love is all gone..
tomorrow is supposed to be our 9th mth together...
wanted so much to get back with him ...
but its not possible anymore..
he dun even miss me..
he dun even cared anymore..
i think he like his life w/o me..
gaji tak yah pk sal aku..
le g prac moto ngan duit die sumer..
i wont be in the way..
but i cant hold on..
i wanted to give in..
i wanted to change..
but watz d use if he's not willing to change?
oh goodness...
im so so so sad..
i just wish he knew how much i wanted to make things werk..
i wish he knew how much this relationship means to me..
d only relationship that im really willing to sacrifice.
if he wanted me to leave..
then i will..
sumtimes, i pray that he will msg me..
i waited..
like a fool..
wanted to msg him but....
watz d use?
i just wanna give it another try b4 everything disappear..
i rather be unhappy with him than be happy with another guy.
i dun want another guy.
does he have another gal?
im just fucking no use la.
so who's gonna take ma place huh sayang?
sum1 i noe?
sum1 u just get to know?
i just want to forget him.
everytime i tink abt 28 may 2006,
i just feel like crying.
im 20..
ya2..
i can handle it..
im a big girl..
just try going thru wat im goin thru n u will noe..
how hard n depressing it is.
is it hard to try again?
we used to say that nothing can break us up unless a third party cums by..
but i dun have it..
do you sayang?
itz not ok, ok?
pple thot we ere d perfect couple.
that we were always happy
n will never ever break up.
i did try to accept the fact..
but its hard.
i dun noe how he can do it.
everything that we had is a lie.
a lie that kills me inside.
fuck im so emo bt this is the only place i can let out everything..
everyday i wear a mask,..
trying to be happy..
im such a fake.
but thatz d only way to move on.
tomorrow will just be a dream..
a beautiful dream that will just float by me.
a dream that will never come true.
pple say loneliness is beautiful..
but its really not..
this is the worst breakup ive ever gone thru.
n i hope thatz d last.
tak gune setia ngan org yg tak menghargai..
thks 4 everything..
i appreciate what u did 4 me.
i wish i could express all that im feeling nw..
but sumtings i just cant explain..
eveywhere i go,
im reminded of him.
im goin out again 2day..
nt putting so much hope whether i'll be happy or nt.
thks pple 4 trying to cheer me up..
i just need more time..
n if maklong is rite..
i wont even remember him by fri or sat..
maybe itz best that way..
losing ma memory with him..
hanya tuhan saje yg memahami bertapa sakit dan pilunya hati ini..
usah biarku bersendirian..
thatz wat he use to say..
i guess he can go on w/o me..
