Tuesday, November 21, 2006
10:16 AM Y
Post title : =life=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
'' ppn sundal.watever.aku tau aku tak tpu kau.kau yg bodo tak g skola.aku pn tak kesa kau tak kesa.hapi?''ya..... so thatz how it is.im stupid.with perfect prove frm d person that i loved d most.ya....so thatz how i hafta accept it.im hurting.and i think i dun nid sumbody who alwayz put me down.i am not a bitch.n y d hell must he say im stupid!!!!????im so hurt.i really need shamil now.but i didnt even tell him.i din even msg or call him.im trying hard to ignore him.i cant.i wanna cry now.but i noe i hafta be strong.i want him so much now.but i cant go to him.im stupid.im not worth it 4 him.=period=
Friday, November 17, 2006
7:40 AM Y
Post title : =MiZuNdErStOoD=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
why when im really sad abt somethingwhen i tried to express it to himit will alwayz end up wrong.why must he always think that i still have feelings for ma ex?why must he even think that way?havent i showed him enuf love?havent i prove to him that he's d only 1 in ma heart?what have ma exs got to do with ma relationship with him?i totally dun even think of them when im with him...but now..why must he makes it diff 4 me 2 forget them?why must he always bring up all the things that have hurt me b4?does he like making me suffer over n over again?does he like seeing me cry?when he talks abt ma exs..what they do 2 me..what i did to them in return..doesnt he know that it kills me?shamil....please dont assume..i totally dont feel aniting for them animore..I HATE PEOPLE WHO DISTROY MA LIFE WITH YOUR LIES!!!!!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
7:59 AM Y
Post title : =hurt=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your faceYou told me how proud you were, but I walked awayIf only I knew what I know todayI would hold you in my armsI would take the pain awayThank you for all you've doneForgive all your mistakesThere's nothing I wouldn't doTo hear your voice againSometimes I wanna call youBut I know you won't be thereI'm sorry for blaming youFor everything I just couldn't doAnd I've hurt myself by hurting youSome days I feel broke inside but I won't admitSometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I missAnd it's so hard to say goodbyeWhen it comes to thisWould you tell me I was wrong?Would you help me understand?Are you looking down upon me?Are you proud of who I am?There's nothing I wouldn't doTo have just one more chanceTo look into your eyesAnd see you looking backI'm sorry for blaming youFor everything I just couldn't doAnd I've hurt myselfIf I had just one more dayI would tell you how much that I've missed youSince you've been awayIt's dangerousIt's so out of lineTo try and turn back timeI'm sorry for blaming youFor everything I just couldn't doAnd I've hurt myself by hurting youfighting everyday.losing hope.different views.different dreams.haiz.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
3:04 PM Y
Post title : =im sorry=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
i feel guilty abt what i wrote in d earlier post.
no matter what,
i still love him.
i cant bear to leave him.
itz bin 5 mths.
n im still holding on.
i just hope he know how hard it is 4 me rite now.
i just wanna be happy with him.
last long.
eventhough he is not happy,
i did try to make him happy.
=sigh=i want him 2 care abt me.use his own initiative.not ask me how i feel only when i ask him 2.i want him 2 ask me out of his own free will!!!!NOT WHEN I PROMPT HIM 2 ASK ME!!!!doesnt he CARE at ALL???IS IT 2 MUCH 2 ASK?isit sayang?m i askin 2 much?i got no voice.my leg is swollen.i gt headache.im tinkin how n i supposed 2 go 2 work tmr.im tinkin maybe i juz force maself.isit it pathetic to complain to a blog??i got a bf.so how come i still turn to a computer oriented program to express how i feel????shld i juz keep quiet n just bear with all this pain??i dun wanna break.i dun wanna him 2 leave me.is this wat they call sacrifice?== korbankan segala perasaan kuhanya demi utk bersama mu sayang ==
2:30 PM Y
Post title : =hurt deep inside=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
hurt.thatz all im feeling 4 d past few days.m i stupid?mi useless?does ma tears meant nothing to u?y did u critisize me?y did u put me down?y must u hurt me with d words that u say?i tot u were ma support.i tot u cld help me and help me up when i fall.but i was wrong.i tot u were proud of me.but ure not.i may have faults.i may not be perfect.but that doesnt give u d right 2 judge me,just by looking at ma mistakes.i am who i am.i cant take it.d 1 that i depend on,is d 1 2 put me down.i can forgive.but i cant forget.im sorry.4 blaming u 4 everything that i cldnt do.n ive hurt maself.mayb im d cause when u said all tat u said.mayb wat u sae is true."kenapa harusku bercinta,kenapa ku begini?kenapa harus ku merayu?kenapa ku percaya?kenapa harus ku dikecewakan?kenapa harus ku diperbodohkan kasih?engkau punca segala kepedihan dihatitak ingin ku melihat wajahmu dihadapanku"he thought that maybe ive forgotten everything.but i didnt.im hurt.till now.at this very moment.n he's out.having fun.its ok.im sick aniwae.it dun matter that he dun care that im sick.i can take care of maself.there goes a saying,'' i'll be there whenever you nid me be it in d middle of the nite ''but its not true.cuz sumtimes sleep is more impt.i cant deny that i love him.so much.too much.i guess its true,that when u love sum1 2 much it hurts.i want so much 2 tell u how i feel.but everytime i do,u wld be angry at me in d end.ure d 1 who pushed me away.ure d 1 who made me change.ure d reason y im crying everyday.u dun have 2 bother,cuz i dont.
