Wednesday, February 28, 2007
12:47 PM Y
Post title : =please=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
please come back.
please.
please.
lets try again...
itz worth the try...
please...
=cries=
5:39 AM Y
Post title : =almost giving up=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
itz been 1 whole day yest..
i din msg him..
itz hard...
went out..
tried to have fun but it din help..
2dae told maklong that i want her to help me to forget him..
i will try every way to forget him...
n maklong said that i wont even remember him aft that..
all the memories...
all the love is all gone..
tomorrow is supposed to be our 9th mth together...
wanted so much to get back with him ...
but its not possible anymore..
he dun even miss me..
he dun even cared anymore..
i think he like his life w/o me..
gaji tak yah pk sal aku..
le g prac moto ngan duit die sumer..
i wont be in the way..
but i cant hold on..
i wanted to give in..
i wanted to change..
but watz d use if he's not willing to change?
oh goodness...
im so so so sad..
i just wish he knew how much i wanted to make things werk..
i wish he knew how much this relationship means to me..
d only relationship that im really willing to sacrifice.
if he wanted me to leave..
then i will..
sumtimes, i pray that he will msg me..
i waited..
like a fool..
wanted to msg him but....
watz d use?
i just wanna give it another try b4 everything disappear..
i rather be unhappy with him than be happy with another guy.
i dun want another guy.
does he have another gal?
im just fucking no use la.
so who's gonna take ma place huh sayang?
sum1 i noe?
sum1 u just get to know?
i just want to forget him.
everytime i tink abt 28 may 2006,
i just feel like crying.
im 20..
ya2..
i can handle it..
im a big girl..
just try going thru wat im goin thru n u will noe..
how hard n depressing it is.
is it hard to try again?
we used to say that nothing can break us up unless a third party cums by..
but i dun have it..
do you sayang?
itz not ok, ok?
pple thot we ere d perfect couple.
that we were always happy
n will never ever break up.
i did try to accept the fact..
but its hard.
i dun noe how he can do it.
everything that we had is a lie.
a lie that kills me inside.
fuck im so emo bt this is the only place i can let out everything..
everyday i wear a mask,..
trying to be happy..
im such a fake.
but thatz d only way to move on.
tomorrow will just be a dream..
a beautiful dream that will just float by me.
a dream that will never come true.
pple say loneliness is beautiful..
but its really not..
this is the worst breakup ive ever gone thru.
n i hope thatz d last.
tak gune setia ngan org yg tak menghargai..
thks 4 everything..
i appreciate what u did 4 me.
i wish i could express all that im feeling nw..
but sumtings i just cant explain..
eveywhere i go,
im reminded of him.
im goin out again 2day..
nt putting so much hope whether i'll be happy or nt.
thks pple 4 trying to cheer me up..
i just need more time..
n if maklong is rite..
i wont even remember him by fri or sat..
maybe itz best that way..
losing ma memory with him..
hanya tuhan saje yg memahami bertapa sakit dan pilunya hati ini..
usah biarku bersendirian..
thatz wat he use to say..
i guess he can go on w/o me..
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
8:38 PM Y
Post title : =over=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
he wont cum back.plz be strong seri.plz be strong.he likes his life now.he's free.i shld stop blogging abt him.the end.happy 9th mth ani...in ma dreamz.
Monday, February 26, 2007
12:18 PM Y
Post title : =love=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
i love him too much.cant move on.cant slp..spent ma time crying...but i will stop..ma new frenz will help me...if i have 3 wish,i wish that he wld be mine again.i wish that we wld be just like how we used to be.i wish that we will NEVER break up.but thatz just wishful thinking.itz not gonna happen.he alwayz thot that i wld go bk 2 ma exz n all..but thatz so nt true.i dun think he realise wat im feeling.i alwayz cry, i noe..but tatz all i can do..i wanna move on.i will move on.find a job.save money.keep maself bz.w/o him.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
2:25 PM Y
Post title : =doaku buatmu=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
dalam kehidupan mesti ada kebahagiaan dan kesedihan...ada kekalahan dan kemenangan...dalam percintaan tidak semestinye kita mesti hidup bahagia untuk selamanya.kadang kala kebahagiaan itu tidak terletak pada orang yang kita sayangi.aku rindu padanya.pada saat kita amat berbahagia.akan kita berjanji tidak akan berpisah.janji2 yg aku sanjungi..yang aku harap2kan..tetapi malang...saat bahagia it hanya sementara..tika manusia berubah..hati dan perasaan jua berubah..budi pekerti jua akan bertukar ganti..kini kian muram..senyuman seakan2 pudar..luput dari ingatan...dalam kesedihanku ini..aku amat mengharapkan kekasih yang ku kenali dahulu..kekasih yang amat ku sanjungi..kekasih yang ku tahu tidak akan menyakiti hatiku ini..sayang,kembalikan lah padaku..kekasih yg pernah bertahta dihatiku ini..walaupun ku tahu ia amat payah..aku rela berkorban..demi kebahagiaan kita berdua..mengapa kau tidak mengerti..bahawa hati ini tidak mungkinkan bertukar ganti..aku sedang mempertahankan cinta kita..walaupun engkau tidak peduli..jangan sesekali pun engkau katakan yang cinta kita tidak membawa erti padamu.aku ingin kau kembali..bersama2 berjuang untuk membina cinta yg kita bina dahulu..cinta yang amat indah dimata semua yg memandang..sayang,ku merayu padamu..tiap malam airmata menjadi saksi kerinduan ku padamu...penyesalan yang tak terkate..aku rase terseksa..sayang, ketahuilah...kasih sayangku ini hanya untukmu...walau apa pun yang akan terjadi...lepaskan diriku bkn kerna terpaksa...jikalau ku tidak kau perlukan lagi..ku harap kau kan selalu bahagia..tanpa diriku.happy 9mths in advance daddy..if ur still mine..
Monday, February 12, 2007
7:57 PM Y
Post title : =nEw cHaPtEr=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
I shld move on.now.at this very moment.he wont be there 4 me animore.nt even tomorrow.i have to face up to this alone.i hate him 4 this.this time its real.no denial.wasted ma time n effort 2 be with him.to be faithful.i guess im to be blame.i did sumtin stupid.i lost EVERYTHING.finding the strength to move on.in ijal.in halman.in faez.in myself.he wanted me to move on.i did.nobody will noe wat i feel inside.itz killing me.but i have to let it go.no more watching movies..no more cumin to ma hse..no more meeting him..no more love frm him.no nothing..im very2 sad.but i cant do anything abt it.maybe i'll find sum1 new..valentine day alone.everything alone.i need to be strong.i AM strong.i did love you...but u choose it to be this way.i tot we wld last..but i was soo soo wrong.thks 4 everything.i'll miss u.but maybe not 4 long.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
9:13 PM Y
Post title : =hope=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
so itz over.ya.im so hurt.y must he treat me this way.''aku masih nak njoy.masih nak kuar ngan kwn2 aku.k tkcr.''it hurts.he chose his frenz over me.everybody chose sumthing else over me.im like nothing to anybody.y?y must it happen this way?im only left with 1 day to spent with him.then i dun now wat'll happen....y must he leave me in times like this..=cries=i really want him 2 be with me..but why now...?shamil...'haiz...its ok...''tidak kesampaian..cinta kita...''shamil will undastand that song.i hope he gets sum1 else who can undastand him better than me.
Friday, February 09, 2007
12:50 PM Y
Post title : =feeling blue=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
i want to be with him.i love shamil sooo much.=smiles=just a few more days left..i dun really wanna count the days but its like auto counting..now im like watching ''the dance floor'''haiz...im bored with ma life rite now...nothing to do..just waiting 4 d verdict..and my family is talking abt wat i did wrong..just when i tried to forget it..haiz..
Thursday, February 01, 2007
6:41 AM Y
Post title : =all on my own=
♥ You'll never know the real me.
maybe its meant to be..maybe i deserved it.but i nvr reali knew wat lies behind those walls.n when i go thru it,i regretted it.how i wish i dun have to go thru it.how i wish that it was all a nightmare.n goin thru it alone is painful enuf.im scared.im so so scared.i just wanna spent all the time i have with him.
maybe he thinks its not impt.
its ok..
maybe the money is more mpt now that i cant help him....
just have to accept it.
ya allah, tolong la hambamu ini...
